surprise phone call
back of mind convoluted knowing
one day expected news too soon
intellectual denial kickin
don't want to deal
life of past thoughts unwavering
memories unwanted flooding
moved away…self preservation…got out
time flies…separate lives
barely aware
thoughts turn…wonder how
beautiful children are… related blood
undoubtedly gifted …surely tormented…restless spirits
snap to present…get in car…pick up sister
long winding arduous memory filled serious drive
remember…thoughts of…brother who read to me
jr. world book encyclopedias…a to z…patient caring
sweltering summer heat…unfamiliar rolling hills…small medical center
death smell hospital …anguished faced family…pain filled glazed eyes
irritated impatient nurses jaded…absent doctors
brother relinquished in hospital bed…horrified by sight…lifeless life support body
choked up…unexpected involuntary...convulsive feelings escaping
feelings of regret...overwhelmed intense forgotten sadness spilling
wondering what happened…changed him as a child
caused him so much pain…to strike…retaliate
to the world…seeming uncaring…bullying
thirst for spiritual answers…redemption …a father…seeking
old world wisdom…intelligent information create…arrogance
unrealistic view...inferiority superiority
cause chaos…tap into sublime…occasional knowing
so much suffering…ended
death
release
